The reality check of how unrelated love and idealistic perfectionism actually is, begins with the self.
Hack 101: Comprehending your childhood is the key to coming to terms with yourself. All we really need to understand is our childhood. That’s the answer to almost all the “Why” of our present traits. The one person we need to know the best is who we were as a child.
You see, every step crosses a two-way street. There will always be circumstances pulling us in multiple directions at the same time. The most crucial question to keep yourself grounded is: Do you have a determined intention to balance a healthy sense of the self, to preserve your self-respect?
Self-respect is where we accept that we deserve to be valued, not just acknowledged as a social or circumstantial obligation. We value our existence, our mind and our principles; without necessarily loving every bit of ourselves or being okay with who we are, but simply accepting the entire spectrum of our being while working on our difficult traits.
Be okay with making mistakes. Of course, when I say “be okay with making mistakes”, the word mistakes implies anything said or done unknowingly, unconsciously, and/or unintentionally. I am not in the least asking you to walk over to complete arrogance of saying or doing something wrong knowingly, intentionally, as a conscious choice and then shrugging it off with a nonchalant “So, what? To err is human.” I am talking of stepping down from this pedestal of being the always-right-and-perfect-and-great-and-better-than-everyone-else-superhuman to a very-normal-good-enough-far-from-the-best-average-human.
You do not need to be perfect. No one is. You will never be perfect. But you will always be lovable, and acceptable. You are acceptable. That’s all I want you to know.